For some of us, we don't have memories of this. But some of us CAN remember when food wasn't a big deal.
When you went out for ice cream, but then you started playing and it got all melted so you just moved on with your day and left the rest.
When we went out to eat with friends and you just got a burger and didn't think twice about it. When friends took some of your fries and you didn't notice because you were fine sharing. You weren't going to eat all those anyway.
So what happened? Why do you feel panicky just when I tell you the hypothetical fry situation? Why do you remember everything you ate this past week and how many calories it had? Why can't you keep a chocolate bar in the cupboard for more than a day without it feeling like it's calling your name and the only way to make it stop is to eat it all?
Dieting destroys your relationship with food.
1) You feel neutral about food
2) You go on a diet and you cut something out. Let's say, sugar.
3) All of the sudden, sugar seems way more appealing. You think about it. You think of all the things you will have once you can have sugar again.
4) Then you have sugar, and it's AMAZING. You have WAY more sugar than you would have in the past. Because you can't keep going like this. You won't eat sugar tomorrow, so you better get it all in now.
5) Then you are terrified because you see that you have no control around sugar.
6) And you probably gained weight because of all that sugar
7) So you restrict some more to make up for it. Now, it's not sugar AND no bread
8) Now you think about sugar AND bread. And one night, you have a whole loaf of bread with Nutella on it. And you think "I have no control over sugar OR bread."
Do you see how this list stacks up?
1) You are freaked out about more and more foods
2) AND you binge on those very foods that you said you would never eat
3) AND now it's a moral issue. It isn't just bread, it was a promise to yourself, it was a moral choice.
4) And because there is no way that you can commit such a sin again, you must keep your promise this time, so tonight will be your one, last binge.
Do you see how dieting actually ruins your relationship with food?
What you need to do is get back to a place where food is a non-moral issue. It's more than just letting go of physical deprivation, it's about letting go of mental deprivation.
It's all a thought pattern that you can interrupt at any part of the cycle.